Nurse! she’s out again…

but naw, I got something else to say, and like always, I’m pretty sure a lot of y’all have already thought it. I’m just gonna be the one to say that shit out loud. I posted on Threads yesterday about happiness and felt I needed to expand on it, so here we go. I don't know when the switch happened, but somewhere along the way, people have become weirdly committed to believing happiness is fake. Like they genuinely have a hard time believing that some people are just...happy. Enjoying their fucking lives. Having a good ass time. Not living a facade, not doing shit for social media posts, stories, or shares, and not secretly miserable the second they put their phone down. Some people genuinely like the lives they’re living, and have cultivated, but somehow that has become harder for people to believe than misery. but i think i know why. relaxx, im finna’ tell you.

First off, when the fuck did visible happiness become suspicious? You post too many vacations and all of a sudden you're trying to prove something. Start celebrating yourself, big or small, a little too often, and now you need validation.

I got something else to say…again

More people need fucking hobbies, man. And listen, I don’t mean that in the cute little “find something you enjoy” Pinterest way cause you saw an influencer try it. Or actually, maybe I do. I’ve just been thinking lately about how much time we spend consuming. Consuming content, conversations, opinions, other people’s lives and all the shit everybody thinks we should be doing with ours. It’s constant. And somewhere in between all of that, I think we’ve gotten a little disconnected from simply having shit in our own lives that we genuinely enjoy.

As my daddy always says, “It’s these damn phones!” And y’all know I hate agreeing with a man, but unfortunately, I think he might be right. I think social media has completely fucked up the lens through which we view other people’s lives, and especially our own. We see somebody traveling every other month, and suddenly our life feels boring. Somebody gets engaged and now we’re wondering why you’re still single. Somebody buys a house, gets a promotion, loses weight, starts a business, has a baby, gets flown to fucking Paris, and suddenly we’re looking around at our own life like…well what the fuck am I doing? I’m finna’ tell you.

You ain’t doing anything that you want to do. The crazy part is, we also have absolutely no idea what the rest of their life looks like. And we ain’t supposed to. We’re comparing our entire existence to the pieces of theirs they decided were worth showing us. Which, on social media, could be fake,

i got something to say again.

And I wasn’t even going to write about it. Who am I fucking kidding? Yes tf I was, but still. I made a promise to myself that I was going to talk about more of the shit people aren’t being honest about, so I needed to publish this one. Because this plays right into the commitments we make to ourselves and how seriously we take our own word., and I dont think we talk about people keeping their word…to themselves.

We place a lot of emphasis and expectations on other people keeping their word to us. If they say they’re going to call, show up, change, communicate better, or stop doing some shit you’ve already told them that hurts you, you expect them to mean it, right? And when they don’t, we’re often disappointed. Sometimes pissed. Other times just mad as hell because ain’t no way they thought they were about to move like we a goof

here i am annoyed again because the goal post on shit keep moving. This week we gon’ dive into this fake peace shit.

Fake peace shit, Sho? Lol yes! Hear me out though!

We need to talk about this new age version of “peace” because somewhere along the way, peace became less about actually being at peace and more about everybody wanting to appear unbothered. Everybody is protecting their peace. Choosing peace. Moving in silence. Using discernment. Cutting people off. Not explaining themselves. Not responding. Not engaging. Blah, blah, fucking blah.

Now, while I absolutely agree that choosing peace in the midst of chaos is sometimes the best thing you can do, but yall sometimes the shit don’t even be chaotic. Sometimes it’s just uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s a conversation you don’t want to have, a feeling you don’t want to sit with, or some shit you simply don’t want to address. But baby, sometimes that is not peace.

yall, im so mf tired of hearing about dating and it’s invisible rules. i swea fo JESUS.

Which is crazy coming from me because I actually like love. Like i actually love love. Certified lover girl if you will. I like romance. I like the idea of two people meeting, liking each other, deciding they want to explore that connection, and just...doing that. But I do not know what the hell people are doing right now, and honestly it’s making me mad.

ion man, somewhere between these Instagram relationship goals, them damn dating coaches, the insufferable red pill podcasts, fake soft-life think pieces, "high-value" men, "high-value" women (Kevin Samuels you will pay) , masculine energy, feminine energy, 90-day rules, roster dating, attachment styles, and strangers with microphones telling everybody how long they should wait before texting somebody back, we made dating a fucking group project, and aint nobody pulling they weight.

Mannn…

before we get started, let me ask yall something.

Have yall ever prayed for a new season, finally got it, and then looked around like..."Wait...what the fuck is it?"

It’s like you are grateful, blessed, hell filled with pure unexplainable joy. You know exactly what you prayed for. You prayed for peace. Healthier relationships. The better job. The passion project. A new hobby. The courage to stop settling for people and situations that required you to abandon yourself just to keep the relationship alive. You prayed to be free from cycles and trauma you didn't create but somehow became responsible for carrying. And the crazy part? God answered. Not only did He answer, He answered abundantly. My problem was...He answered differently than the movie I had already written in my head. How dare he?

In a world where we are constantly told to be confident, know our worth, and love ourselves, it is funny how the moment a woman actually starts doing those things, everyone suddenly has an opinion. Mind you, an opinion that said woman never asked for. And I think its because the truth is, self care has somehow become a dirty word.

mannn…I been sitting with something lately that feels uncomfortable af to admit, but honest nonetheless. I think I’m all out of grace. But like not in a bitter or hardened way, but in a very real, my cup has limits kind of way. I feel like somewhere along the line, “extend grace” became the default response to every fucking …

I love changing my damn mind. And I mean I do it often. Every day is New Year’s over here if I wake up and decide I’m done, starting over, or switching directions. I’m doing that. I can have an entire weekend planned with brunches, drinks, and dilly-dallying, and in an instant decide I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to stay inside and work through my never ending TBR list. I send the group chat a text and boom, the couch wins!