There is something in me that I always believed would fade as I grew older, a quiet ache I assumed time would soften. I thought maturity would grant me the grace to exhale fully, without the fear of having to return the breath. Yet even now, there is a stillness inside me that carries a familiar weight, one I have learned to live beside but never fully release….

Happy new year! By the time you are reading this, it will probably be passing January 1st, but this was written a month ago. So why the hell am I saying, “Happy New Year!” a whole month after? Well, the answer is simple. It’s a “new year” every day at midnight for me. LOL. Crazy right?

I have this confirmation written on my mirror and it’s my daily mantra to simply slow tf down. I think since the beginning of the pandemic, for some it seemed like life was moving fast with no place to go - while also moving so slowly, we were at a standstill. For me, the latter part of my life has been a never-ending damn hamster wheel! Going full speed, no damn where of importance - until I decide to hop off, catch my breath and start all over again. yeah goofy shit

Being strong is actually weak as fuck and I’m over it.

Every time there is something catastrophic happening in this ghetto life of mine, the most common piece of advice I receive (that’s if I even tell people what’s going on, but chileee that’s another story) is “You’re strong, you can make it through this”

I gave up religion, and I have never been happier.

…but hear me out!

where have I been and what happened to me?
chileee…LIFE. I mean but what else Sho?? Honestly, does LIFE really need much expansion?? lol. because let’s be honest, it’s a pretty loaded question and I don’t know how much time yall have to read, but I’m going to try and keep it brief.

-bad days. we all have them, but what happens when you start to have too many? Recognizing that you know who you are better than anyone else, so you would know if something is bothering you, right? You cannot put your finger on it, but you know something is off, mentally especially. You begin to feel different, you begin to notice that you continuously have a great deal of sadness, and you are not even sure why